I came to the conclusion that the next step was to put everything I’ve learnt into action, and of course the first question is HOW?!? If you are familiar with Steve Pavlina’s triangle then you’ll understand when I say my weakest point is power. Truth I’ve very strong in, Love is up there too and I see Unity everywhere, but the essence of Power as well as Courage and Authority escape me regularly.

So I’m back, and I’m concentrating on improving my power. I’ve started planning and taking action on those plans and the outcomes have been quite inspiring. As I can see myself progressing towards my goals it inspires me to take even more action towards more of them. And it’s been a long time coming.

I’ve made a yearly-goal list and I use that to do up a weekly plan. Everything is planned out, work, travel, exercise, chores and even my free time. It’s strangely liberating to see a giant block just labelled “Relax”, and you know that because you’ve followed the rest of the plan, you’ve earned it. I’ve progressed on some projects that I’ve been working on. Just by having the plan I accomplish at least five times more than I would otherwise.

Other news include getting a job, going to Pinang in a week and general life craziness.

But for now, I’m exercising my Power, and you can too. How could you take action on something today?

What’s the main problem with value?
People are selfish. Except that’s a catch 22 right there.

How does anything get done if everyone is selfish and out for themselves?
Because humans create value. It’s their natural expression. Look at a child and they will do lots to give as much value to people around them as they can, without expecting anything in return.

Later, you have the rise of cynicism. You give value, and you lose something. Or you expect value in return and get nothing. An expectation is dashed and the expression of giving value is lessened. This leads to people pulling back and not giving everyone around them everything they have. The seed of nongiving has been planted, and it is watered and fed by unkind deeds and lack of value. This nonvalue spreads like a virus, as people don’t give value to others, also do others refuse to give value in return, and the problem grows. It’s affecting us as a society, because together we can’t give value. Societies can’t give value to it’s people or other societies.

As for personal value, due to personal selfishness people value those who give them value. As people are naturally inclined to give value, even those who are selfish, if you are someone who allows yourself to give value freely, you will be valued by other people. Friends value you because your friendship with them gives them something they can’t get otherwise. You are friends with them for the same reason. Friendships, in fact all relationships, breakdown when one person stops giving value into the friendship. As much as people would always like to blame the other person, it’s always when there’s no value being input from one side. People don’t feel valued if they don’t receive value and stop giving their own value. Simply: Value begets value, nonvalue begets nonvalue. In a situation like this, check to see if you are the one which has stopped giving value, and if so, give it. If you aren’t, give some value anyways. If after you have given value for a time nothing changes, you’ve done your best and it’s time to move on.

It takes a lot of courage to give value and expect nothing in return. It can feel sickening, like you are giving away a part of yourself, but in the long run it’s the only thing that’s going to get this world back to a state of peace. If we can give value to our enemies we can give value to anyone, and that value will flow into the future, into the lives of the children, and eventually into the life of the world. It’s not going to be an easy task by far, and it’s going to take a long road of years, but it’s really the only path.

So, how could you give value to others today?

I started by picturing a figure, made of light, surrounded by stars, patterns and music. It was rather peaceful and serene. Then all of a sudden, the figure breaks apart above the surface of the world that fades in. Millions of figures break from the one made from light and spread around the world, one for each person, and one for me. As these figures landed on the earth, as the energy of the people that live here, I knew that we are all one, we are all from this single being of light, we are all connected.

I could say I’ve been busy, or slack, or distracted, but it’s really a complicated mess of all these, plus wanting to say something grand, but not sure how.

For now though: Personal updates.

I stopped polyphasic sleep after day 14. I would follow the pattern for a week, then crash out terribly. I would sleep through the alarm, or turn it off in my sleep, no matter what I tried to do. The tiredness was also getting to me, I so wasn’t used to it.

I will probably try it again though. I don’t know when, but soon. Along with going raw vegan again. I just got so much value out of doing both, or it could have just been the fact they were so different.

My daily goals are progressing slowly, I’m experiencing a lot of resistance and procrastination. I’m going to create a schedule and stick to it, and see what happens from there.

Lastly: I want to also do some really long article type posts. I’ve gathered up a few deep topics I would like to speak on, and I may as well just get started. Here goes nothing, as they say.

Right now I’m kind of going between really, really lethargic to normal and back again. I’m falling asleep fast during the naps, and I wake up fast too, often 1-2 minutes before the alarm goes off, but I can really tell that my body/mind hasn’t adjusted yet.

The suprising thing is the psychological impact. There’s no more break between the days, that’s the most weird part. Life now feels like one continuous stream, rather than being broken up into a series of days or weeks. The question is then: “What am I going to do right now?” instead of “What am I going to do today?”, because without a nightly reboot, time just keeps going. The naps feel more like time outs than proper sleeps, but perhaps when I’m adjusted to them, they’ll be a little more concrete. If this is the case, then days, nights, and planning over a period of months is just a mind construct made to prevent us from being as effective as possible. I know that the present moment is the only one we can actually use to make a difference, but now I’m intensly starting to experience it.

The other thing I noticed, like when I was on the raw diet, your mind likes to play tricks on you, test your resolve. Giving you lines like “This could be bad for you!” or “Just sleep for another couple of hours, noone will know.” Right now I think the main thing that’s keeping me going through all of the lethargy and tiredness is knowing that there’s an end, and getting there requires being present and taking it one moment at a time. I know I won’t consciously sabotage myself at this point, but lets see what’s stronger: my will, or my subconscious.

Also: Yes, if this does get too much, or I break down, I will quit, but I’m nowhere near that point yet. Right now I’m focussing on using all of my will to keep to the schedule and all of my presense to listen to my body. So it’s going really well, but it’s still hard, as all the best things in life are.

Due to circumstances, I find myself with a lot of free time, no fixed schedule, lots of project work to be done and a messed up sleep cycle. So I decided I may as well try out polyphasic sleep. I’ve wanted to do it since Steve first mentioned it back in 2k5, it sounded so fascinating. So now that I can, I’m attempting it, just to see what it’s like, and what will happen. Even if I fail, at least I learn something about sleep, my body and life in general, right?

I’m following the Dymaxion sleep schedule: 30 minutes every 6 hours, to see how I go. If after a week I fail, I’ll try the Uberman, as it seems more people have more success with that one. First day was today, after only a 30 minute nap at midnight last night and 6am this morning. I felt really groggy so I had another nap at 9am, but then at 1pm, my nap went for 3 hours. Blah. I slept right through the alarm. I will need to get one that’s louder and furthur away from my bed. Right now, I’m feeling kinda foggy, like I’m tired, but without the lethargy and lack of energy. It’s more like my brain is telling my body is sleepy but my body is all “Nups, I’m good to go.” It would be facinating if the only reason why we sleep for so long is so our minds can take time to memory dump at the end of each day, because then it would make sense that it would adjust to a nap schedule.

Anyways, at midnight again it’s time for a 30 minute nap. Lets see how it goes.

Health:
Weigh 90 kgs and Be fit and healthy
How?
Eat healthy food. No takeaway, sugar or “white food”.
Ride my ex bike for 30 minutes twice a day.
Do 3 sets of pushups, situps and squats in the morning and evening.
Why?
To be fit and healthy and feel good about myself. To be an inspiration to others. To have the energy and will to follow through on my life purpose, whatever that turns out to be. To live, to breathe and to experience. To thank my body for being here for me.

Career:
Find a better job that I enjoy, earning at least 40k a year.
How?
Finish my resume by the end of the weekend.
Send it out to at least 1 company per day, with cover sheet until I have the job.
Why?
To support my growth and bring new experiences into my life. To see where life will take me and to uncover the truth behind the world. To interact and live.

Following my dream:
Finish a computer game.
How?
Spend at least 20 hours a week on writing a computer game, starting with Randor, and working until finished.
4 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Why?
To express my inner ideas. To give to people the fun and joy that I’ve received from computer games. To help people reconnect with what they love to do, and bring home that life is fun and meant to be enjoyed. To reawaken the child within everyone.

And those are my plans. All I know now is that it’s going to be one awesome year.

This experiment has been really strange. It’s almost like my brain can only focus on one or two major things at once. Any more than that and the others slip away, or become reasons to procrastinate. I’m looking at my list, and at one per month, I could complete the whole list in 3 years, which is a short time. On the flipside though, I want to complete them faster. It’s a conundrum. We overestimate our current capabilities, but underestimate our long term power.

I’m thinking about shifting back to two for now, but it’s so hard to choose. I need these three for now, but I’ll drop to two for December. I think it’s time to go to monthly 30 day trials. Even four at once is too challenging for me right now.

Oh well. Everything is a growth experience.

I took on drawing and writing, learning french and playing piano. I crashed out quite bad. A few days on each, but nothing much on all of them. Now I’m experimenting with accountability. I’ve got a list of items I want to accomplish, and each day I do, I tick it off the list every day. It’s real proof about what I’m actually up to, rather than what I think I’m up to.

For now, I’m working on exercising for 30 mins daily, writing 3000 words of my novel for NaNoWriMo, and spend 60 minutes finding a better job. Just those three for this week, then a new one on Saturday. It’s not as easy as I thought, and I definately need to grow more in the realm of persistance.

I also want to blog every day, but that’s an experiment for another time.

if that’s the case, starting multiple 4 week challenges at once is a bad idea, the more you add, the more you have to keep track of. One challenge at a time, until it’s firmly underway, then focusing on another in the next week seems to work well. You will have up to 4 going at a time, but only one in focus, the others should already be on semi-autopilot or at least easy to keep track of.

On top of that, having a big visual guide is a help. You can see where you are at and where you have progressed or lagged behind. A scoreboard could help as well. In order to do that, I’m going to go buy a whiteboard.

For now though, the raw diet, exercising daily, writing a novel and looking for a better job are my 4 challenges.
Lets see how I go.